I am a printer's babysitter. It sounds like "monkey's uncle" right? Well, I am sitting here in my dungeon watching every. single. @#$%*&! page. go through this printer.
"SO, having had the experience of doing your Zine and seeing how much work it is, but also having the gratification of seeing it come together and seeing how wonderful it is turning out - I'm sure it's a worthwhile experience, but are you so impressed that you think you might ever take it on again? You don't have to stop what you're doing and answer that, but sometime when your life is more relaxed, I'd love to know the answer!!"
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So I started writing (in between print jobs, of course - the printer is back!) and I wrote this:
Oh my goodness! Right now I am wondering what I was ever thinking when I said I would do this BUT, it is looking very beautiful and I am proud of it and I decided that it was something that was inside me (my head) that I HAD TO do, kind of like when I had my kids. Right now I don't think I will EVER do this kind of thing again but also I am someone who when they say they are going to do something, I have to follow through. Especially because it is a public thing. It is another thing entirely to say to your best friend or family what you are going to do. You can just go back and say, "I changed my mind". I WILL see this through.
After I fixed the jam in the printer I got a glitch in the printer and there is a pale streak in the center of the page. One of the best photos on the zine has to be printed next and it doesn't look perfect with this printer so I am thinking of outrageous solutions. Like I think I am going to go to the store and get a new printer. I am printing all the other pages now and will come back to this one and all the others with prominent photos that have to be perfect. I figure that if it's worth doing, I should do the best job I can do.
I am looking forward to this part of the printing ending. When I make new copies I will revise my plan some. This zine has special papers, some glossy, some high resolution, some just text weight. The covers are glossy and I spray sealed them. Inside are two end pages on watercolor paper with a beautiful collage that my friend Vicki made for me and one is color in the front and the other is in B&W in the back. There is also a project I wrote that came from these end pages - a collaboration. My point in all of this is mostly the way I live my life. "Do a good job. Throw your whole self into the things you want to do because that is where the value is. You, yourself, create any sort of value. And we are all collaborating with each other, whether we have known it or not. Now you know."
You are so nice to me to ask this question. I get to remember why I am doing it. I might do something like this again. But first, there are all these OTHER projects I want to do that have had to wait.
I am making a little cartoony horsey out of bronzclay and I think I am going to have it cast in sterling and bronze too. He is so cute! So you see I have something new to look forward to and many times that carries me through the current uncomfortableness that I must deal with to the end of the project. ( I am still happy being me...) xo Catherine
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I'm not expecting my life to get more relaxed any time soon...
In fact, next week I am going to Teesha's "Play" weekend in Port Townsend. I am so excited about that. I am going to keep printing and I think I might have this thing battened down before I leave. I sure hope so. If for any reason I don't, I WILL BE BACK.
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